Counselling: What to Expect
Understanding the Counselling Process
Generally clinics require three counselling sessions before commencing the egg donation cycle:
-Your donor and her partner, if she has one-You and your partner, if you have one-Everyone together
Counselling sessions are not a pass/fail step that would prevent you from moving on to the donation cycle. These sessions are intended to ensure that everyone understands the legalities around egg donation and has considered the family and social implications of both being an egg donor and using an egg donor to have a child. This is also an opportunity to make sure that you and your donor are all on the same page about all implications and expectations around the cycle.
-Your donor and her partner, if she has one-You and your partner, if you have one-Everyone together
Counselling sessions are not a pass/fail step that would prevent you from moving on to the donation cycle. These sessions are intended to ensure that everyone understands the legalities around egg donation and has considered the family and social implications of both being an egg donor and using an egg donor to have a child. This is also an opportunity to make sure that you and your donor are all on the same page about all implications and expectations around the cycle.
Some topics of discussion for your session & the group session may include:
-Legalities - Rights & responsibilities of both sides -Consent - All rights and responsibilities of the donor cease at fertilisation (except in VIC where the donor can withdraw consent up until the time of the embryo transfer) -Donor Registration information/access to info -Medical risks and other health implications for your donor-What happens if the cycle is cancelled or fails? How does your donor feel about cycling again for you? -When and how do you plan to tell your child about their conception? -Who will you tell and when? (Friends, family, etc.) -What expectations do you have around future contact with the donor? -What will you/the child call their donor? -What will you do with leftover embryos if you have any? Thaw, Donate to science or On-donate (This requires the donor’s consent and involvement in additional counselling with a new recipient. Some clinics do not allow this option but embryos can be moved to clinics where it is permitted).
-How would you feel if your donor decided to donate to multiple families? -Discuss how and when you will arrange to cover her expenses. Is it better for your donor to do it as she goes or at the end of the donation? -Discussing expectations regarding communication:
How and when will you discuss topics with the donor such as: -Egg collection results/embryo numbers -Transfers -Pregnancy -Scans/updates-Gender of the baby-Birth of the baby-Discuss expectations for egg collection: -Who will look after the donor as required for 24 hours post collection? The general expectation is that you will be there to support her for egg collection. Depending on the situation she may need someone to care for her in the subsequent hours. -How will the donor get to/from EPU - She cannot drive for 24 hours after a general. -Who will look after her children if she has any. Do you need to cover expenses for a sitter/childcare? -What would happen if the baby’s genetic testing came back as abnormal during pregnancy? How would everyone feel? -How would you/the donor feel if one of you were to move interstate or even internationally?
Some topics your donor is likely to discuss in her sessions:
-What is she hoping to achieve out of donating? -Understanding the legalities-Donor Central Register -Illegal to be paid for donating aside from reimbursement of expenses-Rights & responsibilities ceasing at fertilisation (transfer in VIC)-How does her partner (if she has one) feel about her donating? -How does she feel about providing genetic half siblings to her own children? -How do her children feel about the donation if they’re old enough to understand? How/when does she plan to tell them? -Who will she tell in her family/friend circle? Does she have a support network? -How would she feel if the child was not interested in contact with her? -How would she feel if there was a problem at the 12 week scan and her recipients chose to terminate? -How would she feel if something happened to her recipients and someone else needed to take over caring for the child(ren)?
Some topics your donor is likely to discuss in her sessions:
-What is she hoping to achieve out of donating? -Understanding the legalities-Donor Central Register -Illegal to be paid for donating aside from reimbursement of expenses-Rights & responsibilities ceasing at fertilisation (transfer in VIC)-How does her partner (if she has one) feel about her donating? -How does she feel about providing genetic half siblings to her own children? -How do her children feel about the donation if they’re old enough to understand? How/when does she plan to tell them? -Who will she tell in her family/friend circle? Does she have a support network? -How would she feel if the child was not interested in contact with her? -How would she feel if there was a problem at the 12 week scan and her recipients chose to terminate? -How would she feel if something happened to her recipients and someone else needed to take over caring for the child(ren)?